People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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