My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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