My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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