i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
