why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
