I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
