You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
And the cops told us we were all naked.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize