Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
there is glitter all over my balls
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
