I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
