I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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