Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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