I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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