The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
this hospital has no fireball
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
