I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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