UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I am available for nakedness
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
