i just wanna soil my oats bro
now i know why i became what i already was.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
