Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
