You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
