your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
