Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
