Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
