You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Randomize
