remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
