Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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