You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
