Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
