new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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