do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
