Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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