you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize