What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
