After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
