Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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