My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize