So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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