People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
