Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
