I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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