i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize