I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
