Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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