that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
