I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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