Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
