Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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