woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
