just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
