Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
