and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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