I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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