Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i need some magic done to my vagina
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
