Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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