awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
