I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
