I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
