I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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