I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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