We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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